november06

I'm feeling a little redundant here. I don't know if this journal was really such a good idea as I think I'm getting a little
bored with it. What I would prefer is just a few small updates written each month on my galleries page, but the page is
part of the main site and that would mean saving and uploading a huge amount of data just for a small entry. I've
thought about reformatting the site, but that would take ages. And because of my lack of knowledge with the computer
I'm limited for what changes I can achieve. Perhaps when/if I set up my Deviant Art pages, which includes journal
space, I may call it a day here and just upload update information there. I'm undecided.

I haven't continued with any new sketches at present. The Wizard and Goth Fairy sit at my bedside looking back at
me urging for completion, but I'm so apathetic. I don't like being apathetic but it's just part of my nature. Presently I'm
nursing a sore foot on a hot water bottle. I knocked it a few weeks ago and I'm a little worried that it hasn't healed yet.
It's still bruised and the toe looks slighly bent out of shape. Because of this I haven't been able to wear my new boots I
got from Ebay which has miffed me. I haven't been able to get out much these past few weeks. I must be real bored
cos today I was browsing Ebay for a fluffy toy cover for the hot water bottle. :] Maybe it's avoidance for the things I
should be doing.

Recently I watched a popular anime called Inuyasha. (I can't recall the spelling but I think that's correct). I was curious
as I'd seen this character frequently turn up in fan art. But it wasn't exactly what I expected. So, he isn't gay and he
doesn't sleep with his brother? Ha ha. Nevertheless, the movie was pretty good. I'll have to get the others in the
series. The same thing happened with Final Fantasy, in that I've come to realise that fan art and the actual movies
sometimes have nothing to do with one another!

Despite apathy and whatever, I've felt a renewal these past months. Around the middle of the year I felt a 'shift' which
has become more prominant. I don't worry or think much about a lack of direction, I rarely bemoan or regret earthly
choices. I sit and just let things 'be'. I feel my spiritual wealth is massing and in this I find solace and enthusiasm.
There's always that sense of wonder of what may come next, for with my beloved spirit companion, I have sensed a
period of growth and a greater closeness with him. In all ways I feel we are moving together towards our shared
desires and goals. And this fills me with happiness. :)

I also feel a stronger sense of identity. I felt so lost before, especially during 2004/05. I felt like I was losing myself! It's
a scary feeling and contributed to prolonged depression too. But things are on the up now. It's important to feel
comfortable with who you are for how else do we relate with the world?

The past few days I've been working on my Storm Dance painting for the StormMaster page. It's nearly finished. I
saturated the paper with water so much this time that I thought I would have to start the painting again. Thankfully it
dried out overnight and I was able to continue. I went into town yesterday to buy a big sketch pad as I'm thinking of
doing a large scale painting, 60 x 40 cm. I want to put it in my kitchen as that room definitely needs more colour and
something to liven it up. I'd like to loosely base the picture on this one which I found at allposters.com I love this
piccy and I would have bought the poster had it been available! It's called Excalibur.

It's been a slow month for journal entries, but as I stated above, I've become sort of apathetic about progressing with
this journal so I'll probably finish up here at the end of this year. I may start up a new updates page linked just from
my Galleries page. It would only include new illustrations and update info. Most of the time I feel I'm just talking to
myself here!

I finished the Storm Dance painting. I like the way it turned out. I've been in the mood for Storm Master creations and
also started a new sketch for this series called Winter Storm. I'd really like to complete just one more painting before
the next main update and I'm eager to do this before xmas. The 3 new paintings will be Storm Dance, Fairy Twinkle
(mentioned last month) and hopefully one of Yehren.

I've started to become a little more critical of my artwork. I see some of the errors I've made in paintings and wish I
had done some differently. Two paintings which I particularly would like to redo are Moon Gypsy and Prophet's Web
as I see the potential these paintings could really have. They appear in my 'Lords of Enchantment' section.

Well, I guess that's it for this month.