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6 August - Just one dream.
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For all my dreams I need but one
And that's more than okay
Cos when you're with me
I wouldn't want it any other way
For every day I would wait
Forever this way I will find
A path to your rainbow
To my one love, true and kind.
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8 August - Memories in the loft.
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I haven't really been in the mood to write in my journal lately. Because of the lull in creativity there hasn't been
anything to report in an artistic way. I've been quite busy lately and haven't really had time for my art. Last week I spent a few days salvaging some of my childhood things in the loft. It's been 8 years since I had access to my stuff and I wanted to remind myself what was there and to see if everything was in good condition as I worried that maybe dust and damp had got into the boxes, but everything seems fine. I actually found some old artwork and poetry which I'd forgotten all about! There were lots of things there, lots of my old childhood books, my Matchbox toys, a collection of dog figurines, soft toys, old records, etc. I would love to unpack it all, but I've never had any space to do so. Most of the stuff is still in the original Australian shipping boxes!
When I re-read my July entries, it sounds like I'm contradicting myself. I say very little in this earth life motivates me,
then I rant on about my dreams of the perfect home, car, etc. Most certainly I have my dreams and desires, but it's my lack of motivation to pursue these things which hinders me. I become disillusioned very easily. The trials of life have worn me down considerably and it's hard to want to make progress when many of my past efforts have gone in vain. I feel many things are out of my control and no matter what I want or need, fate will have its way whether I like it or not. But I shouldn't grumble about my life as often as I do as I am fortunate in many ways. I suppose I confuse myself. One minute I can feel good about my life and quite content and the next minute I'm in a black mood where everything seems hopeless. It often depends on the time of day. During the day when there's lots of noise around I get quite agitated, but now, being late at night and quiet, I feel peaceful.
But there is one dream for which I've never felt a lack of motivation for that is reflected in the poem above. Those of
you who are familiar with my art and writings will know who I am talking about. :) |
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Feeling kinda bored as I was sitting here I was looking through a sketch pad and a couple of illustrations fell out. I'd
forgotten all about these. They are pictures representing scenes from my novel 'The Wolfen Nightwaltz'. (there's a novel page on my website). I had intended to expand that page considerably with various paintings accompanied by excerpts from the book, but alas, that was another project that has so far failed to manifest. I really need to give myself a swift kick and do some of this stuff! |
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A sketch of Tameth. He's the 'goblin boy' that
pursues Yehren. He lives in the forest near Yehren's castle. His intentions, though seemingly wicked, are misunderstood by Yehren and later he realises he has a secret bond with this creature. |
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This sketch is just a rough one. It's a depiction of
Rane (the mortal girl Yehren falls in love with) standing upon a snowy ridge desperately looking to find Yehren who's fallen down the ravine. |
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I've written a few different drafts of my novel over the years. The early draft was more brutal and sexual, a sort of
erotic horror story, but as time passed I grew to understand these characters with more depth and I ended up writing something along the lines of a dark fairytale which would be suitable for younger readers too, although I doubt I'll ever pursue publication on my novels as they became intimately personal to me. Over the years it became known that the characters in my story were far more than just fiction! But that's a long story. :) |
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9 August - Novel ideas.
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Today my FairyLord site turns 6 years old :)
I recently received a very nice email from a lady in America. It's very uplifting to receive compliments for my art. I
don't get many emails and I have had my moments when I wonder if there are many people interested in my site. That is the reason why, in my last update, I put the site meter on each individual page. It doesn't register more hits, just the number of pages each visitor views, (which I access in my site meter statistics) and that gives me an idea how interested people are in my site. And certainly there still seems to be plenty of interest. :) And a special thank you goes out to all those who have emailed me over the past six years. Your words have been greatly appreciated.
Out of the blue I also recently received an email from someone with whom I had a correspondence for around 4
years, but the relationship came to an end. That was because of a personal matter relating to our spirit companions and things got well out of hand. I hadn't heard from her for over a year. She tells me in this recent email that Iran may be planning a nuclear strike on Israel on the 22 August. Though I doubt this. Maybe that is what they're saying in America, for I've not as yet heard such news (or rumour) here in England. I don't express political opinions in my journals, no matter how much I often loathe what is happening in the world today.
Last weekend I got round to doing some illustrations. I've just about completed four, I just need to enhance the
backgrounds. I hope to turn all into paintings. These will be for the My Inspiration pages (Yehren), Lords of Enchantment and Stormmaster pages. |
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16 August - Happy Birthday!
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A couple of times I've mentioned looking around the Deviant Art
site. I find a lot of good artists there. I spent a lot of time on the the site yesterday and came across some very nice art of some stunning asian males. My favourite gallery page is here: |
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One of the pics in the gallery is of a gorgeous doll. I followed the
link to the pages which feature more of these boy dolls and WOW! These are just so beautiful and amazing! The main page is here: |
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You can click on the piccy to the right to view another page
featuring this lovely creation. I'd love to own one of these little beauties! I'm just completely besotted by them. (Some may think they look female, but they are male dolls.) |
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20 August - What a doll!
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